I get a kick from reading things written about men by women. A lot of the time, they just look at us like complete idiots who have no idea what they're doing about anything other than cars, fighting or having beers with the boys. Here's another one of those kinds of articles where we pick out the wrong gift for our loved ones.
From Marie Claire
Ever wonder what that random, possibly heartfelt but possibly picked-up-at-the-corner-deli present really means?
This Valentine’s Day, we dissect the hidden meaning behind everything from chocolates to jewelry so you know exactly what you’re getting.
He got you: A heart-shaped box of chocolates from the supermarket.
He’s saying: "I forgot it’s Valentine's Day."
He got you: Jewelry or a watch.
He’s saying: "I'm not super-creative, but hey, I tried. Don't worry, I probably won't notice if you exchange it for something that's more your style."
He got you: A surprise weekend getaway to a quaint little bed-and-breakfast.
He’s saying: "I'm hoping you like me enough to deal with being in the same room as my snoring and farting — I know I like you enough to put up with yours."
He got you: Every season of your favorite guilty-pleasure TV show.
He’s saying: "I like you more than I hate Ross and Rachel."
He got you: Anything homemade.
He’s saying: "I'm crazy about you — and I've got the Krazy Glue-splattered furniture and staple scars on my hands to prove it."
He got you: A greeting card.
He’s saying: "I don’t think it’s worth spending money on a Hallmark holiday, but, ironically, this Hallmark card is the cheapest thing I could find."
He got you: Sexy lingerie.
He’s saying: "I’d like you to wear it for about 30 seconds."
He got you: A relationship scrapbook, complete with photos of you together and ticket stubs from all the shows you've seen.
He’s saying: "I’m a cheesy romantic."
He got you: A relationship scrapbook, complete with photos of you sleeping and locks of his hair.
He’s saying: "I hope it doesn't creep you out that I've renovated my walk-in closet into a shrine for you."
He got you: A pet for the two of you.
He’s saying: "Let's pick a name together — I want to make sure you don't choose one that I've reserved for our future children."
He got you: Kitchen appliances you didn't request.
He’s saying: "These spatulas are as close to a bouquet of flowers as you'll ever get from me."
He got you: A voicemail on Feb. 15, apologizing for forgetting about Valentine's Day.
He’s saying: "When you're done bad-mouthing me to all your friends, please, please give me a call back so I can grovel."